5 Christmas Gifts Requested by Cancer Patients and Survivors
Have you ever wondered what is the best Christmas gift to give someone experiencing cancer? Have you wanted to give a helping hand, but have been paralyzed to know what is really needed in the hustle and bustle of the season? I have. I remember the years when cancer was on the holiday calendar and the extra challenges that meant to our already overwhelmed lives as a family. I remember my mom trying to work on getting Christmas letters done while also needing rest from chemo. I remember rushing back after a holiday event because Mom left her pain medication at home. I remember packing her suitcase so Mom could spend Christmas week with my brother and then rushing around like a crazy person trying to finish all the Christmas details for my kids and collapsing exhausted every night.
I know personally the challenges of cancer and Christmas, but I also have been on the other end of feeling paralyzed in the face of a friend's great need during his or her own cancer crisis. I have heard the words, "Call if you need anything," come out of my own mouth, knowing the chance of a return phone call was slim, at best.
"Saying what you have and what you can do and when you can do it," Jill wrote on Facebook, "is an offer of help and assistance."
For those of you (like me) who wonder what you can give someone experiencing cancer this Christmas, here is my list after asking the following question to people in an online cancer support group and my friends at Chandler Relay for Life:
If someone asked you, "What can I do for you this Christmas season, what would you say?
Decorate the House.
The number one answer to my question was to have someone come over to decorate for the holidays. Most mentioned being too tired to unbox Frosty the Snowman from the attic and set him up in the front yard with Santa and the the reindeer.
In a FB live video, author Marissa Henley spoke of the importance of asking a cancer patient if there was one thing the decorators should leave for the family to do. Friends put up her family's tree and lights when Marissa was going through treatment, but she wanted to do the ornaments with her three young children. When friends offered to wrap her gifts,Marissa also wanted to be the one to write the names on the packages -- a small thing -- but she wanted the children to see their names in her handwriting.
In my local area, the charity Sharon the Light chooses several homes from a pile of nominations. In 2013, Sharon Rausch celebrated her last holiday season with her family. People came during her final month and decorated her home for Christmas so the family could focus on their time together. In 2014 the family decorated the home of another family and Sharon the Light was born. The family wanted to share the experience of how one small gesture can make a profound impact on those experiencing cancer. Check out three decorated homes (Star Wars, Dreamland and Disney themes) on their FB page, Sharon the Light.
Important addition: Offer to take down the decorations at the end of the season.
2. Make Christmas Cookies.
Breast cancer survivors Jennifer and Tammy appreciated help from friends in regard to holiday baking. Jennifer had a friend who came over and baked at her home after Jennifer had surgery. Tammy had friends who dropped off the goodies, but then stayed and gave her the additional gift of company.
3. Holiday shopping.
With energy levels at a minimum, the offer to help a cancer patient with Christmas shopping can be a blessing and can be as simple as a phone call with the words, "Hey, I'm going to the mall tomorrow. Is there one or two things I can pick up for you?" Naomi suggested purchasing a gift card to Amazon so a patient could shop from the convenience of home, sometimes a necessity for men and women with compromised immune systems. Others mentioned financial struggles due to treatment and the need of a helping hand to purchase gifts for their children. "I want to see my boys smile on Christmas morning," wrote Cheyenne.
4. The Gift of Pampering.
With the focus on treatment and doctor appointments and the need to use limited energy to get household chores done, many women mentioned the desire to have some time to themselves. A gift certificate for a pedicure," Naomi wrote was something she would love, adding that her feet had suffered during treatment, so it was not just a cosmetic request.
5. The Gift of Time.
"Just come walk on the beach with me," Bliss wrote. "Love your family," typed Rose. "Come and visit with some good gossip," said Judy. "We can order a pizza and tell lies all night." "Listen to me without judgement," Linda wrote.
"Be there for me," added Jeff."
Just sit with me and enjoy the beauty of the season," added Kristi. "It's the little things that count."
Being a friend with someone with cancer is sometimes the same as just being a friend.
6. Pray.
Forget the lights, the packages, and the Christmas carols, several cancer survivors requested prayer as the only thing they wanted from their friends and family.W
hen teaching his disciples to pray in Matthew 6:10, Jesus reminded them to pray for God's kingdom to come to earth as it is in heaven. The way I see it, praying for a cancer-free world is kingdom business and one of the greatest gifts we can give those experiencing cancer.If you are experiencing cancer, how would you answer the question: