I Am An Introvert
My husband came home last night after being gone for three weeks.
The house was very quiet while he was gone.
My husband is an extrovert. An off-the-charts-over-the-top extrovert. So not only was he gone, but so was all the activity that swirls around him. It was a long three weeks.
Our marriage has a certain ebb and flow that I anticipate and need in my life, even though my husband and I are so different.
I am re-posted a blog that has been very popular. In it, I explore some of my thoughts of being an introvert. On Monday, I will re-post a second blog on the subject where I explore what it is like being married to an extrovert.
I am an introvert.
This does not mean that I am a social recluse, a hermit or that I don't like people.
It just means:
1. I am energized by spending time alone.
2. I process and filter things internally (unlike many extroverts who process verbally.)
3. I value depth over breadth in conversations and relationships (I find long periods of chit-chat exhausting.)
I just finished reading Introverts in the Church by Adam S McHugh and found many of his words thought-provoking.
I have read things about introverts vs extroverts before, but never in the context of church life. The author contends that many evangelical churches today value the doer over the thinker - which is not surprising in our fast-paced culture - leaving introverts struggling to catch their breath.
He writes that there have been seasons in the church where meditation and contemplation were valued, but today it seems that it’s as if the moment we surrender our lives to Christ we are issued a flashing neon sign that says “go!” There is a restless energy to evangelicalism that leads to a full schedule and a fast pace. Some have said that, in Christian culture, busyness in next to godliness. We are always in motion, constantly growing, ever expanding.
Psychology professor Richard Beck says, "Some churches equate spirituality with sociability." This can be challenging for introverts who are not interested in small talk, who are reluctant to approach strangers and whose inner processing slows them down for debates about faith. (I can always think of things I wish I would have said hours after a conversation is over.)
I remember offending one person in our church by not talking with her after the service. I had been at church early to practice a song list with the worship team, had dealt with the normal problems with the sound system and had led the congregation in singing that morning. By the time I stepped off the platform, I had a full-blown migraine coming on from too much external stimulation (the author calls it an introverted hangover.)
The woman did not complain to me personally, but talked with Kevin about it, to which he said, "It's not that Lynne didn't want to talk with you, it's that she didn't even see you." (I told my husband this probably didn't help my case!)
I laugh about it now, because what my husband told the woman was true. There are times on a Sunday morning when I have given all that there is to give and I just need to go home and crash. I need to refuel by spending time alone. It doesn't mean that I get a "pass" in being with people, serving them, or leading a congregation - not that I would even want that, because I love our church and the people there. It just means that I need more time to myself and with God before I am ready to face the world again.
More about that in my next blog.
So, introverts out there - how has life been challenging for you? Would you agree or disagree with the post below:
