A Letter to a Friend With Cancer

Dear Friend With Who Was Diagnosed with Cancer,

In response to your question, "What do I need to know?"

1. If you think you need to call your doctor, you need to call your doctor.

2. What is normal for everyone else in regard to side effects, might not be normal for you. Know your own body and speak up if something feels off.

3. Learn to ask for help. Save your energy for things that matter.

4. You will have some friends distance themselves from you because they can't handle the changes in your life, but more people than you ever imagined will arise to fight for you, stand with you, and pray for you.

5. People don't know what to say. In their efforts to empathize they will say things that aren't helpful. Extend grace. Choose to laugh at awkward humanity.

6. Your priorities will change. You will change. You will not be the same person at the end of treatment that you are today. Trust me on this one--you will still be amazing!

7. Do it now. Whatever "it" is. Don't wait for someday.

8. You are allowed to fire a doctor who doesn't mesh with you.

9. You will need to have conversations as a family about what you want people to know. The lines are about to get blurred about whose story this is as cancer touches everyone around you.

10. Say "I love you" often.

11. Start a gratitude journal. This discipline will keep you from spiraling into dark, ugly places.

12. Learning to trust God with your life is one thing. Learning to trust God with someone you love is another. Remember this when your family drives you crazy or when they need space to fall apart.

13. You are about to meet some of the most courageous people on the planet. And you, my dear, are one of them.

Signed,

A Fellow Cancer Survivor. 

What would you add to the list as a help to someone who is newly diagnosed??