Saguaro Cactus, Clarity, and Making Decisions

 I like lists. Plans. Certainty.

I make columns on paper--pro and con--to evaluate decisions.

Cautious. Methodical. Minimal risk taker.

That pretty much describes me.

I hate living in limbo--that place of indecision and UNcertainty. It grates against my very nature, like brushing the fur on my dog the wrong way (never a good idea), yet I have found myself dwelling here for months, seeking God for direction and clarity.

I long for clarity--the ability to see and hear clearly, so I can KNOW how to move into the future.

I went to the Phoenix Botanical Gardens last week for some time of reflection among the cactus. Here in the desert, we have just finished one of the driest winters on record, resulting in little-to-no spring wildflowers. The hills have been a disappointing dry and brittle brown. So, I entered the Gardens without much anticipation of blossoms to photograph in the desert foliage.

I had not taken into account the saguaros.

In medians. In landscaped borders. In the wilderness surrounding the Gardens, the gentle giants were bursting with more blooms than I have ever seen in three decades of living in the Sonoran Desert. Without sufficient winter rains, I figured the saguaro would follow the protocol of the wildflowers and hold tight for another year, saving their blooms for their best chance of success.

(Wildflowers are cautious, not willing to risk their seeds to an uncertain future.)

The crown of every mature saguaro was crowned in flowers--three-inch creamy blooms beckoning birds and other pollinators to their golden centers.

With no promise of success, the saguaro produced more, not less. In a year of uncertainty, the saguaro cast caution to the winds and produced extra blooms to have more seeds to cast to the ground.

For me, it is counter-intuitive.

Where are the lists? The columns of pros and cons? The waiting for certainty?

I want to make a decision from the standpoint of abundance--secure in my talents, in a clear vision, and with a predictable outcome.

I want to hold my seeds for a guaranteed future.

The saguaro teaches a different lesson.

In a season of uncertainty, the giant produces more in a riotous display of hope, that now is not the time to play it safe, but a time to be extravagant.

To let go of an expectation of certainty.

To believe in an unseen knowing--a production of more seeds with the hope a few will sproutand become giants.

Where can I cast my own seeds of hope into an uncertain future? Where can you?

A silly video for National Cactus Day last week.