When Fiction and Reality Collide
"Truth is stranger than fiction."
I have heard this quote many times. All you need to do is turn on the evening news to know it is true. People are capable of some very odd behavior.Whether truth is stranger than fiction in my own life, I cannot say, but I am discovering that fiction and reality are colliding.
I am a breast cancer survivor. Twice a year I go to the oncologist, have a mammogram and get blood work done. Every day I take a pill that blocks estrogen because that's what my cancer fed on. This is my reality.
The main character (MC) in the novel I am writing has cancer. Breast cancer. This is my fictional world.
My dad and several friends are in the fight of their lives battling cancer. Reality.
The MC meets other cancer survivors at a support group. Fiction.
In the past 9 months, I have read 18 books, mainly memoir, on cancer and interviewed 5 breast cancer survivors. Reality.
What is MC's deepest desire? What obstacles get in the way of that desire? Does the plot have enough action? Does the dialog make sense? Is there enough trouble to keep the reader turning pages? Fiction.
A close friend waits for biopsy results. Reality.
The MC waits for biopsy results. Fiction.
A survivor tells me her struggles with body image after surgery. Reality.
The MC looks at her scars for the first time. Fiction.
Two years ago, when I wrote a short story about breast cancer that would later be the premise of my novel, nobody in my circle had cancer. My husband asked me the other day how I was doing since my entire life is now surrounded with the disease. Sometimes it is easy. I get caught up in the details of describing a scene, of talking to survivors about the accuracy of surgeries, scars and recovery. I get lost in a fictional world as I choose words to make the details come alive on paper.
But sometimes the reality of cancer slaps me in the face. I find myself sharing honest, raw life with other survivors.
My writing is affected.
Most of the cancer memoirs I've read have a strong humorous slant or voice. Everybody knows that cancer stinks and nobody wants to read a depressing book about cancer. Ultimately nobody wants that reality.
Since I started writing, my voice has changed. Less humor. More stripped-bare truth. Reality is merging into my fiction and it is a little frightening, because I know that one of the biggest challenges of writing, at least good writing, is to write on the blank page what people do not have the courage to say out loud.
Cancer is more than a pink ribbon. Cancer is a horrible, devastating disease that robs life.
Can I face this? Can I write this? Can I make it breathe on paper?
"A book must be the ax
for the frozen sea within us."
-Frank Kafka
This is my reality.
__________
How about you? What is challenging or difficult in your current reality?