I Meant to Write About Grief But Wrote About Beauty Instead
I sat down this morning to write about grief, the losses -- big and small -- that we are all facing right now.
- Loss of a dream trip
- Loss of work
- Loss of human contact
- Loss of routine
- Loss of normal
- Loss of not being with an elderly parent
- Loss of sleep
- Loss of school
- Loss of security
I wanted to remind you to not put a rating scale on your grief and not to feel guilty for experiencing grief when your loss "is not as bad as someone else's."Throw away the scale.Grief is grief.Let's raise our right hands and promise not to be At Leasters, to not disqualify someone's pain (or our own) by adding an at least.
- At least you still have a job.
- At least you can work from home.
- At least you have family close by.
- At least you can go on vacation later.
- At least you can communicate via technology.
- At least you don't live ______ (In New York, in an apartment, in a third world country...fill in the blank.)
Stop. Just stop.Grief is messy and unpredictable and we are ALL facing it right now in some form.One thing that helped me in my own season of loss was to discover beauty in ordinary life, right where I live, in the difficult and hard.I find myself doing that now.
1. Beauty In nature
My dog is currently getting lots of walks. But I am also enjoying my backyard. It has never been so weed-free! We are not doing the long hikes that normally accompany this season, but I am enjoying the ability to get outside.
2. Beauty In Connection
From family Zoom game nights to online church, to text messages and phone calls, I am thankful for technology. I've also brushed off my letter writing skills and sent a bunch of personal letters through snail mail.
3. Beauty In Creativity
Cooking shows. Chalk drawings. Online choirs singing individually from their homes. I love the creativity being birthed right now. Our neighborhood has several budding artists.
4. Beauty in Silliness and Humor.
One of my sisters started the daily meme exchange. What silly, beautiful thing is helping you? What is helping you smile?
5. Beauty In Faith Disciplines, New and Old.
Church for us right now is on the couch in front of a screen, something I appreciate, but don't love, all at the same time. I want to hug some people!!In regard to prayer, when I am overwhelmed, I am practicing the discipline of lifting my hands and giving my concerns, one by one, to Jesus.I am loving a Bible Journaling Through Psalms FB group. My heart has been encouraged by this incredible group of artists, writers, seekers of God, and lovers of Jesus.
6. Beauty In Appreciating Other's Coping Skills
Our daughter is a stress baker. Below is a photo of her hand-painted cake for Easter--that was filled with custard inside!! How can you appreciate other people's coping skills, even if they don't taste delicious? What if the coping skills are different from your own? Are they irritating or can you discover beauty there?
7. Beauty in Being Gentle with Yourself
Can we agree that being gentle with ourselves is beautiful?With our disturbed sleep patterns. With our unfocused thoughts. With anger. With fears for the future and for those we love. With our struggle to be productive (whatever THAT means.)Where are you discovering beauty? Where are you connecting with yourself, with others, and with your faith? Jesus promised to never leave us or forsake us?Now, to me, that is beautiful.